I’ve attempted to post something for the past days aside from that survey but I had to throw it off as draft because my self-appointed MTRCB might react again. She’s too HB these past days; I just don’t want to add to her stress.

But I’m assuming this topic I’ll talk about is safe. Read rest of story…

Just because I’m waiting. Read rest of story…

No, I’m not sick of it. Nor angry. I’m just amused with all the trouble friends go through to “protect” me with life’s realities.

I feel like I’m a kid that should be sheltered from certain truths. But despite trying to preserve my innocence from the harsh realities of life, thank goodness I have not eff’ed up my own life big time; thank God school taught me enough, my parents taught me enough, my friends are crazy enough.

If the truth smacked me unexpectedly hard on the face, I do know where to hold on and I’ll learn how to dodge the blow next time around. It’s called learning experience, my friends. But it is appreciated nonetheless for you were just protecting me from the pain and do not maliciously lie or hide me from the truth to save your face.

So, thank you. <3

“When faced with a loss, it is no use trying to recover what has gone. On the other hand, a great space has been opened up in your life – there it lies, empty, waiting to be filled with something new. At the moment of one’s loss, contradictory as this might seem, one is being given a large slice of freedom.” – Paulo Coelho, Warrior of Light, Volume 2

Looking back on my posts, I was overly depressive ‘no? I apologize but I had to go through it than pretend I was never there. Days before I heard… the truth… I realized I was finally okay. It’s not that the pain is gone; it is just that I’ve gotten stronger – I think I just read that in the 2nd book of the Twilight series.

“Every end is a new beginning.” I just never really gave myself a chance to acknowledge it before. I was so desperate to hold on to the familiar and to the outdated reality that I found myself sinking deeper and deeper into depression. But no matter how disoriented I was with the crippling emotions, I’m glad I did the right thing – “Kapit lang!” – to friends, to family, to faith.

Back then, I just wanted to run away from the pain. I was running away but at the same time God was guiding me toward something.

Work. I was blessed to finally found a new employer. Although I long wanted to leave my first employer, I was usually overly cautious. If I were in a different situation when I got the offer, I’m sure I’ll be considering to reject it; since I was desperate to run away, I took it and things just fell into the right place. Well at least for having enough money to pay for my baby brother’s tuition. God, thank you!

Friends who I finally got to know a whole lot more. I owe you guys a lot and I mean a lot! If only I have more than enough funds to spoil you with eating out, movies or whatever, I would. But since I haven’t… yet… well, I am here to help you with whatever I can do or just listen if you feel like talking non-stop or hang-out lang at tumunganga if you want just that. Kahit ano.

Family. My sister is finally tying the knot on the 2nd Sunday of August. Also, Ate and my niece were able to get their visas just days before. All 3 of them, actually 4 na pala, will be flying to the US a few weeks after the wedding. Yes, 4, that’s Ate, Abet, Annika, and Biboy; My favorite niece will soon be a big sister to my favorite nephew. Well, we are all hoping that it’ll be a boy. I’m all excited for Ate and hope that they could settle down right away. I’m sad too since I’m not sure how soon I’ll get to be with them again. Baka hindi na Tayong Dalawa ang kinakanta ng pamangkin ko o Wowowee ang noon-time show niya dun when I go visit. I’ll surely miss my bff Annika!

I was planning to leave the country too before the year ends with my original intention of running away from the densely clustered memories that this metro contains. But of course, the availability of funds stop me from working on this; I couldn’t afford to be too reckless. I have to wait until my sister and her family are settled down. Yes, I’m still determined to try my luck in another country but now it’s more for the sake of fun and adventure than for wealth and forgetting the past. You can never really forget your most significant past no matter how shitty it ended, right?

I’m glad, I was finally out of ! Whew! Here’s to new beginnings!

Do you see what I mean that people can get defensive when you tell them they’re wrong? I still believe I’m not wrong posting those entries… And pwede ako magpasaway not to follow what you’ve requested since this is my blog anyway… But ayan, mommy, please lang, wag ka nang hb.

:p

Ayan, ok naman siguro protected posts diba? My previous passwords don’t apply anymore. No more clues. Ok na? Ha? Ha? Where’s my prize? ;p